I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
