8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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