Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Your penis caused this!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
