Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
