It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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