Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
