My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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