I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
