I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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