I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
