There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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