Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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