i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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