What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
