she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
