like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
