umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
