Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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