And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
