how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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