Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
