You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Acid is not a monday night drug
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
