go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
why do cheetos always look like penises
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
