Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
