You're completely useless in the revolution.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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