When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
