so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
