I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
