Just mADE A PArabola og urine
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
