Apparently you make a good broom.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
