in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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