i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
