i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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