He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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