I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize