when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
