I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I smell like Dick and happiness
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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