Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
