I think I died a long time ago.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
