did you get engaged???
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
