am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
