Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
