he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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