What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
