I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
