Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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