The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you had me at cake vodka
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
