Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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