we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
