He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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