Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
