i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
When are your genitals available?
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