sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My vagina is officially offended.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
