let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
