i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Randomize
