OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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