i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
