how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
