Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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