I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
