drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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