would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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