I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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